An Unexpected Angel
by TiffanyGray1987
Summary: Cheyenne Berry is both Autistic and visually impaired, and has struggled with relationships, bullying, abuse, depression, etc, her whole life. When things seem to be falling apart for her, her sister introduces her to "Lord of the Rings." She immediately connects with the character Sméagol, and wishes with all her heart that he could actually be real.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

It was mid April, and I was getting ready for a date with my boyfriend. I used my fingers to apply my makeup. I can't see well enough to use a mirror, so it's much easier for me to use my sense of feel. I slipped into a pink dress that my mother bought for me. It was one of my favorite dresses, nice and loose and sensory friendly. Then, I slid my feet into my favorite white dressy sandals. I brushed my hair, put on my lipstick, and sprayed myself with my favorite perfume, I sat on my bed, and patiently waited for him to pick me up. I began to lose myself in thoughts of him, and I couldn't help but smile.

For many years, I had known nothing but heartbreak, betrayal, and yes, even abuse, from past relationships, both platonic and romantic. The only person who ever truly understood me was my older sister, Hayley.

We always had an unconventional relationship. Most sisters fight and bicker, but Hayley and I were best friends. She's looked after me since I was little, and she's always been there for me.

See, I'm both Autistic and visually impaired, and on top of that, our father died when I was still a baby, which made things so hard on Mom. Having to raise two girls as a single mom is hard enough. Try having to raise two girls alone when one of them has two disabilities. However, things got a little easier when Hayley decided to help Mom take care of me. She helped cook our meals, helped me get ready in the mornings, and even helped me with my homework when I got home from school. Not only that, but she was always there to cheer me up after a bad day. I was heavily bullied for being "different" from all the other kids. Even some of the teachers bullied me. I would often come home in tears, and I wondered what the hell was wrong with me. Why did people hate me so much? Hayley would hug me, and tell me she loved me just the way I am. I would smile at her, and tell her I felt the same about her. Then, she would help me get my homework done, and always had a way of making homework time fun.

After we finished our homework, she and I would hit the piano with Mom for music lessons. She taught us both how to play, and gave us both voice lessons. Since I can't read music, I learned by ear instead. Music was so special to the three of us. It was our favorite way to bond, and for me, it was a great way to express myself.

When I was a teenager, I started writing my own songs. Since I couldn't write music, I would record the melody and music on tape, and played it back to memorize the song.

When we were both all grown up, Hayley moved out, and invited me to come live with her. She had been working for a while, and could afford a nice little house for the two of us. Now, we both live together, and she still looks after me. There's a lot I can't do for myself, such as cooking, cleaning, and laundry, but she does it for me. I often feel like I'm a burden to her, an obligation. I feel so guilty, like I'm taking advantage of her, but she constantly reassures me that she doesn't mind. Still, I try my best to show her my appreciation.

To this day, she and I still make music together. We each write our own songs, but we also write and sing songs together. Music is our love language. Well, one of them.

Every week, Hayley took me out to Callahan's Irish Pub for dinner and karaoke, and that is where I met my best friend, Abby Coggins. Hayley and I also joined the community choir––the Greenflower Choral Society, which is where I met my boyfriend, Logan Coolidge. Hayley also pulled some strings to get me a few paid singing gigs at different nursing homes. Yeah, I would say I have the most amazing sister on the planet.

So, Abby and I had been best friends for three years. Out of all the friends I had made and lost over the years, I felt like Abby was the only one, besides Hayley, I could truly be myself around. She never judged me, never made me feel less about myself, and was always there to make me smile. She became my other sister very quickly.

Logan and I had been together for a little over a year, but we were best friends beforehand. He knew all about my past relationships, and compared to all the other guys I dated, he was completely different. He was gentle, sweet, honest, kind, and funny, and he never put me down, never intimidated me, or tried to hurt me. He was everything I'd been looking for in a guy.

Logan and Abby also formed a strong friendship with Hayley, and the four of us had our own little friendship circle. We would all create music together, go out to karaoke, and just hang out. We were even all fans of the same musical group, Celtic Woman. We would often watch their concert DVDs while stuffing our faces with popcorn and other junk foods, and we even went to see them in concert together. If you're wondering, yes, we had backstage passes to meet them, and they were some of the nicest people we'd ever met. For me and Hayley, however, that wasn't our first Celtic Woman concert. We've seen them a total of nine times, and been to six meet and greets.

Yes, after years of endless crap and misery, I was finally happy. I had everything I'd always dreamed of––a career in music, awesome friends, and the best boyfriend I could ever ask for. I finally found people who accepted me for me.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

"Cheyenne!" The sound of Hayley calling to me from downstairs suddenly brought me back to Earth. "Logan's here!"

I jumped up, grabbed my purse, and hurried down the stairs. "How do I look?" I asked."

Hayley smiled. "Gorgeous." Then, she looked again. "Wait." She stepped closer, and gently rubbed my face. "Just fixing your makeup."

I grinned.

"There, perfect."

"Thanks," I said as the doorbell rang. I opened the door to see Logan standing there with a cute smile on his face. I can't see facial expressions very well, but I could always recognize that adorable smile.

"Well, don't you look pretty?" Logan flirted.

I beamed at the sound of his thick southern accent. "Thanks," I said giddily as I stepped forward, and reached out to hold his arm. I flashed the biggest smile. "Oh, my gosh!" I laughed. "Your sweater is so soft!"

Logan chuckled. "I knew you'd like that."

Hayley giggled. "She's gonna be all over you now."

"That's what I was goin' for," Logan joked.

"Yeah, okay, get outta here," Hayley teased.

I snickered as I hugged Hayley.

"Have fun, Sweetie," she said, returning the hug, and turning to Logan. "Take care of her."

"I always do," Logan replied.

Hayley nodded as Logan led me to his truck. She waved to us. "Bye, guys! Have fun!"

"Bye!" I called back as Logan helped me in.

Logan took me out to eat at our favorite burger and pizza joint, since his favorite food was cheeseburgers and mine was pepperoni pizza. This particular restaurant always made the best burgers and pizza. The service was excellent, and the prices were very low. It was our goto place every time we went out to dinner. Even when we had picnics in the park, we stopped there to pick up food to go.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

After we finished eating, we went back to his place to watch one of Celtic Woman's concert DVDs. We snuggled up on the couch under a soft, knitted blanket, and lost ourselves in the beautiful music. I nuzzled up in his arms, and rubbed my hands over his sleeves, grinning and giggling like a little girl.

"What are you doing?" he teased.

"Your sweater is so soft and fluffy," I said in a silly voice.

Logan laughed softly as he cuddled me. "You're so cute."

I sunk deeper into the softness of his sweater. "I feel like I'm being hugged by a giant teddy bear."

Logan wrapped the blanket around me, and held me closer, caressing my backside. "Well, I feel like I'm huggin' a beautiful princess." He kissed my cheek.

I giggled as I lay very still in his arms, surrounded by the softness of his sweater and the blanket. I was in sensory heaven. What made it even more magical was the music and the person holding me. It was a special moment, and I didn't want it to end. I looked up at his beautiful face. It looked so warm and kind. So much love radiated from him. I felt so blessed. This beautiful, wonderful, sweet man was holding me in his arms, and I felt so loved and wanted, something I never felt in past relationships. "I love you," I sighed happily.

Logan smiled warmly. "I love you, too, Sweetheart." He ran his fingers through my hair. I usually hated when people messed with my hair, but I liked when he played with it. It felt so good, almost tickling my scalp. "Your hair is so long," he remarked. "It's beautiful." As he played with my hair, he softly sang along with the current song playing––Celtic Woman's breath-taking rendition of "My Heart Will Go On."

I wiped a few tears from my eyes. His voice was so warm and lovely. I smiled at him as I listened to him sing. I eventually fell asleep in the comfort of his arms.

I woke up a couple hours later, and looked around. I was in his room, in his bed, but I didn't see him there. Then, I heard the toilet flush in his bathroom, and the sink turn on. Okay, I thought. I guess he just had to poop. I laughed to myself as he opened the door, and tiptoed back in.

"Oh," he said happily, "you're awake."

"Oh, really?" I teased. "I thought I was still asleep. I guess that explains why I had my eyes open."

Logan laughed. "Alright, smartass."

"Better than being a dumbass."

Logan jokingly glared at me. "Watch it," he teased.

"Oh, please. I'm not scared of you."

"Well, you should be."

"Why? Watcha gonna do, huh?"

Logan grabbed the knitted blanket, jumped on the bed, and started tickling me with it.

I burst out laughing.

"That'll teach you!" Logan laughed.

"Oh, shit!" I shrieked, "I'm about to piss your bed!"

Logan stopped immediately, still laughing. "Well, get your butt into the bathroom, woman. I don't want no piss in my bed."

I got up from the bed, and hurried into the bathroom, still laughing to myself. I came out a couple minutes later, and saw Logan removing his clothes. I suddenly felt very turned on. I walked up to him, and kissed him passionately as we sat down on the bed together. We made out for a little while. In past relationships, I never liked making out. I often found myself only wanting a brief kiss or a peck. If the guy wanted more, I would grin and bear it to please him, even though I was practically suffocating under the mounds of spit and stinky breath. With Logan, it was different. His kisses were warm, soft, and dry, and his breath didn't smell like the sewers. Not only that, but kissing him was so amazing and hot that I didn't want to stop.

While we kissed, he gently moved his hands from my cheeks down to my breasts. Then, he slowly made his way down to the bottom of my dress. He lifted up my skirt as a hint to me. I helped him lift it, until we both lifted my dress over my head, revealing nothing but a black bra and matching panties. He lifted my bra over my head, and laid me down on the bed, removing my panties, and throwing them across the room. I snickered as I saw them getting caught in the blinds. He crawled into bed, and pulled me close, kissing me passionately, and directing his kisses downward towards my chest. Then, I spread my legs, allowing him room, and we went to town.

We were both out of breath and very satisfied when it was over, I lay still, catching my breath as he moved towards me, lying down, and wrapping his arms around me.

"I love you," he whispered.

"I love you, too," I responded.

Then, we both turned our gaze towards the window, and burst out laughing when we saw my black underwear still hanging from the blinds.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

The next day, I went to the mall with Hayley and Abby. The three of us were treating ourselves to a shopping spree.

Abby came out of the dressing room, trying on a green sundress.

"Gorgeous," Hayley and I said.

"Really?" Abby inquired. "You don't think it makes me look fat?"

"Heck no," I said.

"Sweetie, you are not fat," said Hayley, "not in the least bit."

"The people who told you that are all idiots."

Hayley nodded in agreement.

Abby smiled graciously. "Thanks, guys."

We shopped for a few more spring and summertime outfits. Then, we went to the food court for lunch.

"So, how was your date with Logan last night?" Abby asked me.

"Awesome," I said with a giddy smile. "We went out to eat at our usual place. Then, he took me back to his place, and we watched Celtic Woman, and then…"

"And, then… what?" Hayley asked.

"You had sex," Abby whispered, "didn't you?"

I blushed and giggled.

Hayley and Abby smiled eagerly.

"How was it?" Hayley whispered.

"Amazing," I squealed softly. Just in case any of you were wondering, yes, it was my first time. I told them all about the experience while trying not to get too graphic, seeing as we were eating. They burst into snickers and giggles when I told them about the underwear getting caught in the blinds.

"You did use condoms, right?" Hayley inquired.

I nodded. "And, he pulled out." Even though I was on birth control, I still wanted to be super careful.

"Good, 'cuz I know you don't wanna get pregnant."

"No."

"Does he know you don't want kids?" asked Abby.

"Yeah," I replied. "We talked about it the other day. He understands, and he said he's okay with it. I hope so, because if he's not… I don't wanna be the one to take that away from him. Kids are great, but I know my limits, and I know I can't handle being a parent. Just…" I sighed heavily. "I really love him, and… I meant what I said when I said I would do anything for him, but… that's the one thing I can't do for him."

"Well, I'm sure if he had any issues with it, he would tell you," Hayley said reassuringly.

Abby nodded in agreement.

"Yeah," I said, unsure, "I just hope it's not a deal-breaker for us."

"That guy loves you like no other," said Abby. "I don't think he's going anywhere."

As much as I wanted to fully agree with Abby, I still had that fear of losing him in the back of my head.

After lunch, we decided to do a little more shopping. We headed to Barnes & Noble, and browsed around for a bit.

"Oh, my gosh," Hayley said. "They have the extended editions of all the Lord of the Rings movies on sale." She marched up to the DVDs, and grabbed all three of the movies she wanted.

Yes, my sister was the biggest Lord of the Rings fan. She would tell me all about the movies and the books, which got me a little curious myself. However, for some dumb reason, I never got around to watching the movies.

"Awwwww!" Hayley cried. "They have a cute little Sméagol plush doll!" She hurried over to the display, and gently grabbed the doll from the shelf. It was a life-sized, plush doll of the character, Sméagol/Gollum from Lord of the Rings.

"Whoa," Abby said in amazement, "he looks so real."

"I know!" Hayley squeaked. "He's so cute. Cheyenne, look!" she cried, showing the doll to me.

I looked at the doll for a moment, and I felt a few tears welling up. Even though I didn't really know who Sméagol was, the doll was so beautiful. I became a little more curious about the movies. I need to watch them sometime, I thought to myself. Hayley handed me the doll to hold. I hugged him. He was so soft and squishy and snuggly. I smiled like a little girl at Christmas.

"How much is it?" asked Abby.

Hayley looked at the price tag and smiled. "Only twenty bucks," she said. "Not bad."

"You gonna get it?"

"Um, duh," Hayley teased.

Abby and I snickered as the three of us headed for the register to pay for the DVDs and the doll. Then, we continued with our shopping spree. Off to the music store, which is where Hayley worked. While we were there, she bought me some recording equipment and software, a microphone stand, and a pop screen for my mic.

When we arrived home later, Hayley installed the software onto my computer, and showed me how to use everything. Surprisingly, I picked up on it very quickly. Oh, my gosh! I was so excited to finally be able to record songs with professional sounding studio equipment! I couldn't wait to get started. I knew exactly what the first thing I wanted to do was.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

For the next few days, I dove into my work, recording songs up the wazoo, editing and mixing the tracks, and finally, burning them onto a disc. I decorated and wrote on the disc to make it look nice. I printed out my favorite picture of Logan and I, just the right size to fit in the front of the CD case. I printed out a list of songs to insert into the back. Then, I wrapped it with red-heart wrapping paper.

The next Saturday afternoon, I had plans to go on a picnic with Logan. I dressed in a blue sundress and my white sandals. I packed a CD player, a BlueTooth speaker, and the wrapped CD into a small bag, and headed out the door. "Bye, Hayley!" I called to my sister.

"Bye, Cheyenne!" Hayley answered back. "Have fun!"

I headed for a nearby field with beautiful evergreen trees and a pond with pure, clear water. I would often go to this field to enjoy the warm sunlight, listen to my music, relax, and get lost in my own little world. It was easy to get to. It was within walking distance from my house, and yes, when I went there alone, I always took my phone.

I saw Logan laying out a picnic blanket, and digging in a huge picnic basket for the food, drinks, and other supplies.

"Hey!" he greeted, putting everything down and giving me a big hug and a peck on the cheek.

"Hi." I smiled as we both sat down on the blanket.

"What you got there?"

"I made you a present."

Logan smiled mischievously. "Oh, a present, huh?"

"Yep." I grinned awkwardly as I dug in the bag, and handed him the wrapped CD.

He tore off the paper, and smiled when he saw a picture of the two of us on the front cover of the CD. "What is this?" He looked at the song list on the back. "Is this a love song compilation you made?"

"Something like that," I said as I pulled out the CD player and speaker.

"Oh, you wanna listen to it while we eat?"

I nodded as I opened the CD slot, and logan slipped the disc inside. I placed the equipment to the side on the blanket, hit "Play," and the first song began to play.

Logan's face lit up as soon as he heard my voice coming out of the speaker. "Wait… that's you," he said happily.

I nodded with a mouth full of food.

"You recorded a whole CD of love songs for me?"

"Yep, I did."

"So, you went to an actual studio just to make me a CD? How did you afford that?"

"Actually, Hayley bought me my own recording equipment and software, and she got an employee discount."

"Well, still, you put in all that work for me?"

I smiled. "Logan… when I said I would do anything for you, I meant that."

Logan looked at me lovingly. I leaned in, and kissed him softly.

"I love you, Cheyenne," Logan said sweetly, holding my face in his hands as he continued kissing me. "I love you so much."


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

We continued eating and chatting away as we listened to the CD.

"How's your pizza?" asked Logan.

"Awesome, as always," I said. "How's your burger?"

"Great."

"So, have you heard from Lucy yet?" Lucy is our choir director.

"Yep, got an e-mail from her yesterday."

"And?"

"I got the solo."

I gasped excitedly. "Yes! I knew you would get it!"

"What about you? Are you gonna try out for one of the solos?"

"Nah, not this time."

"Why not?"

"I've gotten so many solos in past concerts already. There's a lot of singers in the choir with amazing voices that deserve solos. I wanted to give them a chance, too."

Logan smiled warmly at me. "Aww, that's sweet."

"Well, it's just… I don't wanna get a reputation as the 'star' of the choir, the girl who gets all the solos, and everyone else doesn't, you know?"

"I know what you mean. You don't want people to think of you as a diva?"

"Nope. I mean, don't get me wrong. I love when I get a solo, but… in the past, I've been called a diva before, because well, I acted like one. Ugh." I cringed as I remembered my childhood days.

"What are you talkin' about?" Logan said with a silly grin.

"Well, when I was a kid, I was really into Disney Princesses, and I wanted to be a real princess."

"Awww, that's cute."

"Not really, because I would act like a little bitch. I dressed up in princessy dresses all the time, and acted like I was all that with a side of curly fries. I was so picky about what shoes I would wear if I was ever wearing a pretty dress. I always had to wear dressy shoes. Never tennis shoes, or I would throw a hissy fit. I mean, I still don't like wearing tennis shoes with a nice dress, but I'm not an ass about it now. And, I always had to wear my little princess tiara with my outfit, or I would lose my mind. If anyone ever messed with me or picked on me, or whenever grown-ups would yell at me, I would act like the biggest drama queen, like all those people were evil villains messing with a 'beautiful princess.' Ugh! Oh, my God! I'm cringing just saying it out loud."

Logan just laughed.

"Yeah, be glad you didn't know me when I was that little brat."

"Well, I guess it makes sense you'd act like that, though. People treated you like shit. Being a princess was a defense mechanism."

"Yeah, a terrible one," I scoffed. "I can't believe my mom didn't beat my ass."

"Because, she knew you were hurtin', Sweetheart. Nobody ever stood up for you, so you had to do it all yourself. Your princess persona was your shield."

"But, I should've known better than to act like that."

"You were just a little girl, Sweetheart."

"But, that still doesn't excuse my behavior. Lots of little girls acted better than that."

"Yeah, but I'm sure Autism played a roll in it also."

"Maybe, but still. Even if I was a princess, a true princess doesn't act like a snob. The Disney Princesses are all sweet, kind, humble, caring, and strong women, not rude, snotty drama bitches. If I wanted to be like a Disney Princess, I should've followed that example."

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, I think you're just like a Disney Princess now."

I blushed. "Really?"

"You're kind, strong, and caring, and in my eyes, the most beautiful woman I know."

I smiled at Logan. "Well, in my eyes, you're my Prince Charming. You're everything Prince Charming represents––kind, loyal, patient, accepting, encouraging, and uplifting, and someone I know I can trust."

Logan laughed softly, and kissed me on the cheek.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

After lunch, Logan placed the picnic basket and my bag next to the CD player, still playing my CD. He lay back on the blanket next to the CD player, and I laid my head down on his stomach. He ran his fingers through my hair.

"Hayley bought the _Lord of the Rings_ DVDs the other day," I said randomly.

"She did?" Logan inquired. "Did she get the extended editions?"

"I think so, yeah."

"That's good. I know she's a big _Lord of the Rings_ fan."

"Yeah, she is. She talks about it all the time."

"Have you watched the movies?"

"No, but I keep meaning to. I really want to, but… I don't know. Life gets in the way, you know? I'm so focused on my music and… you." I laughed awkwardly.

Logan smirked. "You'll probably like it. You know, Celtic Woman did a couple songs from it."

"Yep, they sang 'May It Be' on their first album."

"Yep, from the first movie, _The Fellowship of the Ring_. They also did a cover of 'I See Fire' from the second _Hobbit_ movie, _The Desolation of Smaug_."

"Yeah, on their _Destiny_ album."

"That's right."

"Best cover I've ever heard of that song. Then again, it's Celtic Woman. When is a song they do not good?"

Logan chuckled. "I agree one hundred percent."

"I mean, they could cover a song I hated, and make me fall in love with it."

"I know what you mean. So… who's her favorite character?"

"Huh?" I was a little thrown off by the sudden subject change.

"From _Lord of the Rings_?"

"Oh, pfff, duh," I snickered. "I think it's Sméagol?" I said, unsure. "Is that his name?"

"Yep, you got it."

"She bought a life-sized Sméagol plush doll, too."

"Well, that's neat."

"Yeah, it looks so real, but not in a creepy way."

"I never thought Sméagol was creepy. I always felt bad for him."

"Why? What happened to him?"

"He was corrupted by the One Ring."

"Uhhh…"

Logan told me Sméagol's whole story, how his cousin, Déagol, found the ring, how it corrupted Sméagol, how Gollum came into existence, everything, and he explained it in a simplified way my Autistic brain was able to comprehend.

One of my many Autistic traits is difficulty grasping certain kinds of information. I had a hard time with certain subjects in school, because I couldn't really understand the material. The textbooks and lectures were like Gibberish to me, until my amazing sister explained it in a way I could understand.

Sméagol's tragic story nearly reduced me to tears. I was so blown away. "Wow," I said, trying to swallow my tears. "That's really sad." I brushed back a few tears. "Crap, I'm trying not to cry."

Logan caressed my head with a sweet smile. "It's okay, Sweetie. I cried, too."

"That's another thing I love about you," I said. "You're not afraid to show your emotion. You don't hide behind a 'macho, tough-guy' mask. You're not afraid to cry, and that's really beautiful."

"I don't believe in hiding my emotions just because I'm a guy. I'm human, too, and I have every right to express myself however I see fit. To hell with what society says. They wanna call me a sissy for crying, so be it. I don't give a shit."

"Yeah, they can take their opinions, and shove 'em up their asses."

"Exactly!"

"Plus, you have people who love you for who you are."

"Yeah. My parents always taught me to be true to my own self."

"And, look where it got you." I gave him a flirty smile. "Someone fell in love with you for being yourself."

Logan giggled as I kissed him softly.

"Maybe one day, you, me, and Hayley could watch _Lord of the Rings_ together?" I suggested.

"That'd be great," said Logan.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

That Tuesday, like every Tuesday, was our weekly choir rehearsal, and I couldn't wait to hear Logan's solo. For our upcoming concert, we were performing a mix of Broadway show tunes and songs from movies. Logan's solo was in a beautiful choral arrangement of "If I Can't Love Her" from the Broadway musical version of _Beauty and the Beast_.

As we rehearsed, a big part of me wished I had a solo in one of the songs, but hearing others solos, I knew it was the right thing to do. There were so many talented people in this choir, and they deserved to have a moment to shine. One of them was my incredibly talented sister, Hayley, who had a solo in "Think of Me" from _The Phantom of the Opera_. Her solo was probably one of the most challenging, as it involved lilts, trills, and crazy high notes, but I knew Hayley could do it. I heard her practicing at home, and she nailed it every time.

When it was her turn to sing, she was a little nervous, but listening to her, nobody could tell. Her voice flowed so naturally with the lilts, trills, and high notes.

"Wow," I said to myself. I've been listening to her sing since we were babies, but she never ceased to amaze me. To this day, I am still blown away by her ability.

Soon, it was Logan's turn to show off, and oh, my gosh, he melted my heart! He had such a beautiful, soft, sweet tenor voice, but also very powerful when necessary. So much emotion in his solo. I could almost hear the pain in the Beast's heart. I wiped away a few tears. I didn't think it was even possible to fall even more in love with him than I already was, but boy, was I wrong.

That night, after rehearsal, I sat at my laptop, and wrote out some heartfelt lyrics for a song. It was hard to sum up my true feelings for Logan in just a few stanzas, because there was so much I wanted to say. When I finished, I carried my laptop into the music room, and sat at the piano, playing with possible melody ideas until everything finally came together. I played and sang the song to see how it sounded, and I was very satisfied with it. I recorded a rough audio file to use to practice the song. Then, I carried my laptop back up to my room, got ready for bed, and quickly fell asleep with a playlist of all of Celtic Woman's songs playing in the background.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

The next day, I met up with Abby for lunch at Callahan's.

"So, when are you gonna play it for him?" she asked.

"Well, he's coming over Friday for dinner and a movie night," I said. "Maybe I'll play it then. It'll give me time to practice it a little more."

"Aww, that's an awesome idea."

I sighed, almost wanting to cry. "You should've heard him during rehearsal last night, Abby. His solo for the concert, it was so beautiful. I've heard that song before, but never the way he sang it."

"What song?"

"It's called 'If I Can't Love Her' from _Beauty and the Beast_, the Broadway musical version."

"Oh, I love that song."

"Me, too, but Logan made me love it even more."

"I can't wait to hear it. When's the concert?"

"The end of May."

"Awesome. I love your choir concerts."

"You do?"

"Yeah, I love choral music."

"You should join."

"I don't think I'm good enough. You guys are amazing."

"So are you. You're plenty good enough."

"Awww, you don't have to be so nice. I know I suck."

"No, you don't," I said with a smirk on my face. "Abby, one thing about me, I don't suck up to people. When I compliment someone, I mean what I say. Plus, I'm a huge musical snob, and I can tell when someone can sing and when they suck. You don't suck, and anyone who tells you that is a stupid farthead."

Abby snickered. "Stupid farthead. You're funny, Cheyenne."

"Yeah, I'm so immature."

"Me, too," Abby laughed softly. "That's why we're such good friends."

I smiled. Then, I changed the subject back to choir. "I can't wait until you get to hear Hayley's solo, too. Holy shit, she can hit those notes."

"See, that's what I'm talking about. I can't hit those high notes like you and her can."

"So? That doesn't mean you suck. We need more altos anyway."

"Do I need to audition?"

"Nope."

"I'll think about it."

"Okie dokie."

Abby giggled. "You're too cute."

I grinned. "Thanks."

After lunch, Abby drove me back home, and I invited her to come in for a few minutes before she had to go back to work. She followed me into the music room, and listened as I sang and played the song for her.

"So, what did you think?" I asked when I finished. I heard sniffling. I looked over, and saw Abby wiping her face.

"That was so beautiful, Cheyenne," Abby wept. "Holy shit."

"Wow, really?"

"Yeah. That song really captures your love for him."

"Do you think he'll like it?"

"Are you kidding?" Abby sniffled. "He's gonna love it!"

I smiled awkwardly. "Wow, thanks, Abby."

If you can, you need to get his reaction on camera."

"I plan on recording the whole performance, and putting it on YouTube."

"Good. You should."

"Thanks, Abby."

"You're welcome. Well, Cheyenne, I gotta head back to work now, but I had so much fun hanging with you."

"Me, too, and I'm glad you liked the song."

"Girl, I freaking loved it." Abby gave me a hug before she turned to head out. "I'll see you later!" she called.

"Okay, bye!"

"Bye!"


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

That Friday, I picked out a few movies for Logan and I to watch, laid out a few fluffy blankets on the couch, and prettied myself up a bit. Since we were staying in, I didn't go too hard this time. I did my makeup, brushed my hair, and slipped into a comfy sweater dress.

"I'll wait until he gets here to order the pizza," said Hayley. "I keep forgetting what kind he likes."

"Okay, sounds good," I agreed.

"Awww, you look so cute." Hayley hugged me. "All ready for cuddling."

I grinned. "Yeah, under a pile of fluffy sweater blankets."

Hayley giggled. "I'll get the chips and sodas out."

"Okay." I followed Hayley into the kitchen as we continued talking.

"So, you gonna play your song for him tonight?" she asked.

"Yep. Maybe while we wait for the pizza."

"Sounds like a plan. It's such a beautiful song, Cheyenne. I know he's gonna love it."

"Thanks." Just then, my phone beeped. "Oh, that's probably him." I picked it up off the counter, and opened my text messaging app. Since I can't read the tiny text on the screen, my phone has a screen reader that reads everything out for me. "Yep, it's him. Hold on a sec." I double tapped on his name to read his message.

"Cheyenne, there is something I really need you to understand. I really like you, and look, this is not easy for me in any way. I just can't do with a relationship right now. I can't really do with it right now. I know that it's really hard for you to understand this. Believe me; I take no pleasure in writing this message. I do love you. I'm just not ready for the whole relationship ordeal. I really hope you can understand what I'm saying. This is nothing against you, dear. You can trust me. I don't mean to hurt you in any way. Understand what I am saying, where I am coming from. I'm not giving up on you. I'm just not ready for this. This is not your fault. You're still my friend."

My heart sank to the pit of my stomach, and shattered into a million pieces.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Hayley said angrily. "Over a year together, and all of a sudden, he's not ready? What the hell?!"

I didn't even bother answering his message, nor did I even exit out of the app before shutting off the screen. I placed my phone back down on the counter, and stared at it for a moment, hoping he would message me back, saying it was all a mistake, that someone else sent that message, or that he didn't mean any of it. However, I knew in my heart that it wasn't a joke or a mistake. It was really over.

"Cheyenne… are you okay, Sweetie?" asked a worried Hayley.

I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out for a few seconds. I couldn't think of what to say. So many thoughts racing through my jolted brain, and then, I spoke. "I knew it was too good to be true." And, with that, I exploded into an ocean of tears and uncontrollable wailing and sobbing.

Hayley threw her arms around me, and pulled me into a tight hug. "Shhhh, it's okay, Sweetie," she said softly. "It's okay. I'm here. It's gonna be okay, Sweetheart."


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

I suddenly felt sick to my stomach. I rushed off to the bathroom to throw up. This is another Autistic trait of mine. I feel stress a lot deeper than most people. What isn't stressful for most can be very stressful for me, and sometimes, stress can make me physically ill. This was one of those times.

When I finished throwing up after what seemed like an eternity, I flushed, cleaned myself up, and came out of the bathroom, still in tears. I made my way into the living room, and plopped my butt down on the sofa. I grabbed a pillow, placed it on the arm rest, and laid my head down.

Hayley tiptoed in, sat next to me, and put her hand on my head. "Hey," she said sweetly. "You okay, Sweetie?"

"No," I said weakly. "I feel like utter shit."

"Aww, I know." She caressed my forehead. "I know, Sweetie."

"I don't understand," I wept. "Everything was going fine. I mean, we went on a picnic last weekend, and everything was perfect. Even after choir practice, everything was great. I told him how amazing his solo was, and we made plans for tonight. I didn't have any warning. There were no signs he was getting ready to dump me. Did you see any?"

"No, I didn't. He never seemed like he was pulling away."

"Over a year together, and suddenly, out of nowhere, he decides he's not ready to be with me."

"I know. That doesn't make any sense. And, he didn't even have the decency to call you, or break up with you face-to-face. He sent a fucking text. That alone made me lose so much respect for him. And, his reason, there's no way that's what it was. You don't stay with someone for as long as he did, go through everything you both did, and build a strong relationship to suddenly decide you're not ready. That can't be what it is."

"I know. I'm afraid to ask him about it, though. He might turn it on me, and tell me that it actually _was_ my fault, just like they all did before. Or, he'll tell me something that's really gonna hurt, even more than this."

"I understand, Sweetie. I think it's best not to talk to him for a while."

"I don't wanna talk to him. It's too painful. Just hearing his voice will hurt too much." I began sobbing again. "Damn it, I don't know how I'm gonna handle choir rehearsal on Tuesday. I don't wanna have to hear his voice, but I don't wanna drop out of the concert."

"Oh, yeah, that's right. Well, I have an idea. When it's his turn to sing, I'll take you to the bathroom, until it's over."

"But, I have to rehearse the background vocals, though."

"Well, I think you know them pretty well already, and if you don't, we'll practice them together when you're ready."

"But, what will Lucy think?"

"I think she'll understand. She knows how hard you work, and she's a sweet, reasonable, understanding person. She won't mind if you have to excuse yourself. If she's worried about you knowing your part, I'll let her know you'll practice at home, but I seriously don't think she'll have a problem with it. She'll just be happy you're still singing with us, even though it's painful." Then, she changed the subject. "Hey, you feeling better after your little barfing session?"

"A little," I said.

"You still want something to eat? We can still have a movie night, and I'll order pizza for us."

"Sure."

So, Hayley ordered large pepperoni pizzas, and we spent the rest of the evening, watching funny movies and stuffing our faces with junk food. I was still hurting badly, but laughing and eating with my big sister helped take my mind off things for just a few hours.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

However, that night, things were rough. As soon as I closed my bedroom door after getting ready for bed, I felt very alone and empty inside. My room seemed so dark and cold, even with the lights on. I crawled into bed, but I couldn't even bring myself to close my eyes. I was so tired, but afraid to fall asleep. The last thing I wanted was to see Logan in my dreams. Just seeing his face drove a wrecking ball through my heart.

In the middle of the night, I got out of bed to lay down the framed pictures of him, so I wouldn't have to look at them. I wasn't anywhere near ready to throw them out. I didn't want to see them, but the thought of throwing them out hurt too much.

I grabbed my phone, and ran into the bathroom. I sat on the toilet for a while, looking through everything––my text messages, Facebook, Messenger, everything, just to see if I got any new messages from him. Nothing. I went to my Facebook profile, and changed my relationship status to "Single." Thank goodness Facebook no longer announced to everyone when someone became single, because I really didn't want to talk to anyone about it. I knew what people would say. "Well, he's not worth it." "Move on." "Be strong." "Get over it." "You'll find love when you least expect it." I was in no mood to deal with those invalidating and dismissive bullshit clichés. They would only make me feel worse.

I scrolled through my news feed to try and take my mind off things, see what my friends were up to. Everyone was asleep, though, and there was no one to talk to. All I had were the brief status updates from random people. After that, I had nothing. But, wait. There was YouTube. I opened my YouTube app, and looked for new videos from my favorite YouTubers. I turned the volume down, so I wouldn't disturb my sister. I watched for a while, until my legs were numb from sitting on the toilet for so long. Before getting up, I made sure I didn't have to go anymore. Then, I flushed the toilet, carefully made my way back to my room, and crawled back into bed before the pins and needles kicked in. I lay as still as I could, and let it all pass. Usually, I enjoyed the feeling of pins and needles. I'm very ticklish, and I love being tickled. However, I was in no mood to be tickled, and I was too emotionally exhausted and screwed up.

A few minutes later, Hayley came into my room wearing one of her favorite onesies, a fuzzy pink onesie with a long zipper down the front and a long, curly tail in the back. "Hey, Sweetie," she said sweetly. "You okay?"

"I can't sleep," I sniffled.

"Awww, Honey." She crawled under the covers with me, and wrapped her arm around me.

"I'm so tired," I wept, "but too afraid to fall asleep. I don't wanna see his face in my dreams… or hear his voice."

"Awww, I know, Sweetheart. I know." She hugged me. "You've been up all night?"

I nodded. "I was trying to distract myself, so I could sleep. I feel so alone."

"Awwww." She pulled me close, and held me against her chest. "Why didn't you come get me?"

"I didn't wanna wake you up."

"Oh, Sweetie." She caressed my head, and played with my hair. "If you ever need me, you can always come to me. Even if I'm asleep, you can still come to me."

"Did I wake you up?"

"No. I couldn't sleep, either. I was worried about you."

"Sorry."

"Hey, don't be sorry. You didn't do anything. It just hurts me to see you in so much pain. You're my baby sissy-poo, and I love you so, so much. And, I promise you're not alone. I'm right here, and I won't leave you, ever."

"I'm too scared to go to sleep."

"I know, Sweetie. How about I sing you to sleep, so you'll hear my voice instead of Logan's? I'll even stay here, and sing to you all night."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course, I'm sure, Sweetie. I don't have anywhere to be today, and I'm not really all that tired. I just wanna stay here with you, and make sure you'll be okay."

So, my amazing saint of a sister held me tightly, still caressing my head and backside, and playing with my hair, and she sang to me, until I finally fell asleep. Even after I fell asleep, she kept holding me, loving on me, and singing to me. She kept it up for several hours, until she also fell asleep, still holding me tightly. Thanks to her, I had peaceful dreams, and not once did I see Logan's face, nor did I hear his voice. Instead, I only heard Hayley's voice, and I saw her face. In my dreams, she looked very angelic and soft. Her whole body lit up, and she was dressed in a white version of her pink onesie. I could feel her wrapping her wings around me, and whispering, "Everything will be okay, Sweetheart. I'm here," as she planted a kiss on my forehead, and sang a sweet lullaby to me.

I was still in a great deal of pain, but I knew that, as long as Hayley was there, everything would be okay.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

Things were rough for a while. It was so hard not to talk to Logan, but it was too painful to talk to him. I wanted to call him up, but at the same time, hearing his voice would only hurt more. He did text me a couple times to ask how I was doing. I didn't respond to them. He called me once, but I ignored it. Part of me wished I answered it, but I knew I couldn't.

That Tuesday, during choir rehearsal, just before he was about to sing his solo, Hayley led me out of the room, and took me to the bathroom. Thankfully, I could not hear him from the bathroom. I stayed inside one of the stalls, until Hayley was sure it was over. Then, she led me back to the choir room.

At the end of rehearsal, Hayley went to talk to Lucy. Meanwhile, I wanted to get out in a hurry before he had a chance to talk to me, but I accidentally picked up my purse the wrong way, causing a few things to fall out. "Crap," I growled as I got down on my knees, and put everything away as fast as I could. "Where's my lipstick?" I mumbled as I felt all over for it, panicking.

"Here you go," said one of the choir members, a fellow soprano, handing me my lipstick.

"Oh, thank you," I said, relieved, as I dropped it into my purse.

"You didn't try out for any solos this time?" she inquired.

"Nope," I said hastily, grabbing my purse, and hanging it over my shoulder.

"How come?"

Oh, hell no, I thought. Please no conversations. I wanna get the hell outta here before Logan comes over. "Long story," I said.

"I have time."

"I kinda have to go, actually."

"Oh, okay. Well, you have a beautiful voice. Maybe next concert?"

"Yeah, maybe."

I stood back up, and my heart jumped when I saw Logan approaching me. I struggled to maneuver through the crowd of people to get to my sister, and hopefully, getting out of his sight. I finally managed to get through, and I gently tapped Hayley on the shoulder. She turned around, and caught a glimpse of Logan maneuvering through the crowd to get to me.

"Well, we're gonna head out now," she said to Lucy, "but thanks for understanding."

"No problem, Hayley," said Lucy. "Hope things get better for you, Cheyenne," she said sympathetically. "I'm so sorry, Honey."

"Thanks," I said, almost in tears as I latched onto Hayley's arm.

"Come on, Sweetie," Hayley said, trying to maneuver us both through the crowd as fast as possible.

"Wait, Cheyenne!" Logan called.

The sound of his voice calling my name ripped my heart out. I didn't respond. I kept my focus forward as my wonderful sister led me out of the performing arts building. We hurried to the car, and got in as quickly as possible.

It wasn't that I was afraid Logan was going to harm me. I knew he would never do such a thing. However, as I stated before, I was nowhere near ready to talk to him after he ripped my heart out. I was still madly in love with him, and in the worst state of mind possible. My emotions were all over the place, and the last thing I needed was to hear any explanation he had to give. I didn't want to listen to him try to defend himself while my heart crumbled more and more.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

A few days later, Hayley was out running some errands. She had just finished up at the grocery store, and was putting her shopping cart away when she heard someone calling her name.

"Hayley!"

She turned around to see that Logan was running towards her. "Oh, fuck no," she mumbled angrily as she rifled through her purse. "Damn it," she growled, "where are my keys?"

"Hayley!"

"Forget it," she said to herself as she turned to walk away, but Logan caught up to her.

"Hayley!" he called, following her. "Hayley, wait."

"Not now, Logan," Hayley said in a low, angry tone.

"Hayley, please––"

"I said not now."

"Hayley, I need to talk to you."

Hayley stopped in her tracks, and gave Logan a very dirty look. "You really think I wanna talk to you right now?"

"Cheyenne's not answering my calls or my texts. I––"

"Gee, I wonder why!"

"Look, I just wanna make sure she's alright."

"No, Logan, she's not!" she snapped. "She's trying really hard to be okay again, trying to distract herself, and force her way out of a deep hole, but she is a human trainwreck!"

"Please, let me explain."

"Explain?! Now, you wanna 'explain?!' Why don't you start by explaining why, after a year, you all of a sudden decided you weren't ready for a relationship! Or, maybe you should explain why you didn't even have the decency to break up with her in person! Instead, you sent her a god damned text message! You know, she really cared about you, Logan! She trusted you! She even wrote a fucking song for you!"

"Wait, what?"

"Yeah, she poured her heart out in a beautiful song she wrote for you, and she was gonna play it for you that night!"

Logan's face scrunched up in sadness. "I still wanna be her friend."

"Well, that's not gonna happen, because she can't even look at you now… and neither can I. You know, I never thought you were a coward, until now. I seriously doubt your reason for breaking my baby sister's heart was because you weren't ready. You don't stay with someone that long, put in all that work, and suddenly decide you're not ready for a relationship. You just don't."

"Tell her I'm sorry."

"You know what, Logan? You really should be sorry, but 'sorry' isn't gonna fix anything. You broke her heart. You broke her trust in you, and you broke mine, too. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get home, and take care of my baby sister. And, I have milk in the trunk that's gonna go bad if I keep wasting my time talking to you. Goodbye, Logan." With that, she got into her car, and drove off.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

For the next few weeks, I tried to lose myself in my music to distract myself from the pain, but I was having very little luck escaping. I tried to cheer myself up with funny videos from my favorite YouTubers, but that only worked for a little while. No matter what I did, I couldn't escape my heartache.

Then, one Saturday afternoon, Hayley suggested a full day of movies and junk food, since that seemed to help me the first time. She and I both decided on the _Lord of the Rings _trilogy. We curled up on the sofa with pizza, chips, soda, and lots of other junk foods while we lost ourselves in the epic movies.

Since it was so hard for me to see what was going on at times, Hayley happily explained everything to me, simplifying it, so my Autistic brain could comprehend it all.

I quickly became very fascinated with the character Sméagol/Gollum, and paid close attention to his story and role in the movies. His voice immediately grabbed my attention. Well, actually, Gollum and Sméagol's voices are a bit different from one another, even though the two personalities live in the same body. Gollum's voice is more gravelly and fruity, while Sméagol's is much softer. Okay, if you're a _Lord of the Rings _fan, you already know their story, so I won't repeat it too much here.

Sméagol not only fascinated me, but hearing his voice brought me great comfort. There was something special about his voice that made me feel so warm and fuzzy inside. However, when it came to the _Forbidden Pool_ scene, my heart shattered when Faramir's rangers took Sméagol back to the cave, and beat the snot out of him. The sound of him screaming in pain was heartbreaking, and when he curled up in a ball crying, I found myself crying with him. Hearing Gollum talk softly to him, and watching him trying to comfort Sméagol made me cry even harder. While he was wrong about Frodo betraying him and Sméagol, I understood why they both felt that way.

Seeing how much Sméagol and Gollum struggled with their addiction to the One Ring, I couldn't help but feel bad for both of them. I knew that none of their actions involving the ring were their fault. The ring had way too much power over them.

At the end, when they lost their fight against the One Ring, and fell off the edge of Mount Doom, I broke down sobbing even harder than I did when Logan dumped me. I wanted to reach through the screen, pull them away from the edge, and throw that stupid ring into the lava myself. I also wanted to strangle Sauron to death, but throwing the ring into the fire would hurt him even more than hands around the throat ever could. Man, what a piece of shit.

Just as the movie was finishing up, the doorbell rang. Hayley quietly got up from the sofa to answer it while I concentrated on the movie. When it ended, I looked up to see Abby standing next to the sofa. "Hi," I said awkwardly.

"Hey," she greeted happily. "Were you just watching _Lord of the Rings_?"

"Yep."

"Well? What'd you think?"

"It was amazing," I sniffled.

"Awww, it made me cry, too."


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

I scooted over to make room for Abby. She sat on one side, and Hayley on the other as we talked about the movies.

"So," said Hayley, "now that you've seen it, who's your favorite character?"

"Sméagol," I replied, "both sides of him."

"You liked Gollum, too?" said Abby.

"Yeah."

"I do, too," said Hayley.

"Despite all the shit he did," I said, "I just can't see him as a villain or someone evil."

Hayley nodded in agreement.

"What do you see him as?" asked Abby.

"I know that Sméagol was good," I said, "but I honestly saw some good in Gollum, too. Like, when he was comforting Sméagol in Faramir's cave. I mean, he was wrong about Frodo betraying him, but… he had a sweet side to him."

Abby and Hayley thought for a moment.

"Yeah," Abby said, "I can see what you mean."

"I think that, for Gollum," said Hayley, "he never, ever experienced any love or kindness in his life. All he knew was darkness and solitude and that stupid ring. Nobody was ever there for him. Nobody ever extended a hand to him. Sméagol knew what love was, but Gollum…"

"Maybe if someone showed him love," added Abby, "it would've helped him a great deal."

"And, his other problem, he was so addicted to the ring that he didn't believe he had any purpose without it, no reason to exist. Most people think he only existed, because of the ring. I don't think so. I think, if he had people to show him love, and that he does have purpose without it, he could've survived without it, both him and Sméagol."

"And, maybe he and Sméagol could've been friends," I added.

"Wouldn't that be an awesome story?" Abby remarked. "Gollum and Sméagol after the ring, how they both cope, and if Frodo could've been there for both of them, shown them love and friendship and kindness."

I laughed awkwardly. "Wow, we're talking about him as if he were real."

"Nothing wrong with that," said Hayley. "He's a special character who has a big impact on us."

"What would you say to him if he were real?" asked Abby. "If you were ever lucky enough to meet him, what would you tell him?"

"Pretty much everything you guys said," I replied. "I would tell him that I see good in him, that he does have purpose without the ring, and that he deserves to be loved."

"You know," said Hayley, "I would say the same things to him."

"Ditto," Abby agreed. "And, I would tell him that the ring is only causing more pain, not making it go away."

"What would you say to Sméagol?" asked Hayley.

"That he does have friends," I said, "and people do like him. I would say that to Gollum, too."

"I think that would have a huge impact on both of them," said Abby. "Words of love and kindness can go a long way, even in the darkest of times."

"_Especially _in the darkest times," added Hayley.

"What did you think of Sam?" Abby asked me.

"He was so sweet," I said, "and even though he was really harsh with Gollum and Sméagol… I guess I can understand where he's coming from. I mean, Frodo's his best friend, and he was just protective of him, just like you guys are to me."

Hayley and Abby smiled warmly at me.

"And, I don't think he could really understand what Frodo and Sméagol were going through," added Hayley, "because he never experienced it for himself. He only carried the ring for a few minutes. He didn't really understand that it took immediate control over Sméagol as soon as Déagol fished it out of the river. Poor Sméagol didn't even have a choice. Only Frodo could understand him, because he had to be so close to that dark power. His desire for it didn't take over him nearly as quickly as it did Sméagol, but… I guess I'm saying that, unless you've been through it, you don't really understand. That's why Sam was so scared of Sméagol, and so hard on him. He didn't realize that none of it was Sméagol's fault."

"I totally agree," I said, "but I think that he's a reasonable enough guy that, if someone were to tell him everything you just said, he would listen, and he would help Sméagol, too."

"I think he would, too," said Abby. "He has such a big heart." Then, she changed the subject back to Gollum. "So, what did you think of Gollum's… death?"

"Oh, shit," I groaned. "That broke my heart. I mean, I was glad the ring was gone, but… I didn't want Gollum and Sméagol to go down with it."

"Poor thing was bawling her eyes out when Gollum fell in the lava," Hayley said sweetly.

"Awww, that made me cry, too," said Abby, "and what made it even more heartbreaking, I think in his last few seconds of life, he finally realized the error in his ways, that this piece of junk wasn't worth dying for, nor was it worth killing anyone over. It was that 'what have I done' moment right when taking your last breath. So heartbreaking."

"Yeah," Hayley agreed, "I could see the regret written all over his face."

"I wish he got his happy ending," I sniffled.

"Awww, Honey," Hayley said sweetly, "you really liked him, didn't you?"

"Yeah. He's freaking awesome."

"Out of the two of them, which personality do you like better?" asked Abby.

"I don't know," I said, thinking about my answer. "I like them both, but… I guess I can relate more to Sméagol, since I've been through similar stuff. I mean, not to his extreme, but… I know how it feels to have people turn on you and judge you over stuff you have no control over." I paused for a moment. "And… I know what abuse feels like," I said with a very serious look on my face. I was referring to when Sauron tortured Sméagol to find out where the ring was.

Hayley's heart broke as soon as I mentioned abuse. She knew exactly what I was talking about, besides Sméagol being tortured. She hugged me. "Oh, Sweetie," she said sadly.

"But, you know, I don't mean that I like Gollum less," I added.

"I know," said Abby. "You love 'em both, but you connected with Sméagol on a deeper level."

"Exactly."

"I know what you mean," said Hayley. "I adore them both, but I guess my heart aches more for Gollum, since he never, ever got the love and kindness he needed. I almost wish I could've jumped through the screen, and given him a big hug."

Abby and I smiled.

"Hayley, you are such a sweetheart," said Abby. "Probably the sweetest person in the world. Gollum would fall in love with you right away."

Hayley tilted her head, smiling warmly and giggling. "Awwww."


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

I spent the next few days researching more about Gollum and Sméagol, learning his full story, and getting to know more about him. I found myself watching clips on YouTube from the movies just so I could look at him and hear his voice. It brought me great comfort, and helped to ease the heartache I was still feeling. I downloaded audio clips of him, so I could listen to his voice when I needed comfort. I also printed out a few pictures of him to carry in my purse.

Okay, before I go on, I know just how weird and crazy this all sounds, but this is another Autistic trait of mine. I am a grown woman with a lot of childlike tendencies and traits. I do understand the difference between reality and fantasy, but at the same time, when it comes to my favorite shows and movies, I connect with some of the characters on a personal level. Very rarely, however, I connect with them on a much deeper level to the point where they're almost real to me. I know they're fictional, but they're not to me, in my mind. The last character I had that deep connection with was Ojo from _Bear in the Big Blue House_ when I was a little girl, and Ojo stayed with me all through my teen years. To this day, I still have the Ojo plushy my grandparents gave me as a child, and I still snuggle with her every night and tell her all my secrets. What made me so attached to Ojo? Well, her voice was what first got my attention. It was a very comforting sound to my ears, and always brought a smile to my face. I also loved her sweet, playful, cheerful personality, and she had a very active imagination just like I do. She was very creative and artistic, and that also drew me in. Not to mention, she is _insanely _adorable! Well, I was experiencing something similar with Sméagol. I could relate to his character. His voice was very comforting to listen to. He was adorable, playful, and in my eyes, had a very sweet, loving heart, despite what the ring did to him. Most people would laugh at me, call me a nutjob, and tell me I need therapy, which is why I would only tell people I trust, people I know understand me, like Abby and Hayley. I would've told Logan, but, well, he wasn't around anymore.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

Speaking of Logan, soon, it was time for our choir concert, and I was dreading part of it, the part where I had to listen to his solo, and act like I was completely fine while singing background vocals for him.

I constantly looked at Sméagol's picture while I got ready for the concert. I did my makeup, slipped into my choir dress––a long, black dress with short sleeves, and did my hair. I didn't spray myself with perfume this time, because we weren't supposed to wear perfume during the concert in case some people had allergies to scents and perfumes. Understandable.

"I am dreading this," I said to myself, picking up the picture of Sméagol. "Damn it, I wish you were real," I said, almost in tears. I looked at his face, and I imagined him speaking to me.

"It'll be alright, Precious," I imagined him saying. "Sméagol's here."

That lifted my spirits a little as I grabbed my purse, and walked out the door with Hayley.

A few minutes before the concert, I looked at Sméagol's picture again, and imagined him saying "It'll be alright, Precious. Sméagol's here." Then, I looked up, and sighed heavily.

"Please help me, God," I prayed. "I am dreading this. Please help me."

No, I wasn't dreading the whole concert. Most of it, I was looking forward to. It was just that one damn solo I was dreading.

I continued staring at Sméagol's picture, and praying to God to help me through it, until Hayley came to guide me to my spot on stage. I quickly put the picture away, and Hayley locked it in the closet with everyone else's personal belongings. Then, I took hold of her arm, and she led me out to the stage.

A minute later, the rest of the choir came out on stage, quickly finding their spots. The audience applauded as Lucy and the piano accompanist came out as well.

The music began to play, and we all began to sing. Everyone else had their black binders with their music in front of them, but I didn't. As I stated before, I can't read sheet music, so I learn by ear. I memorize the songs.

Soon, it was time for Logan's solo. My heart dropped as the pianist began to play the song. Then, Logan began to sing, and I tried to hold it together as I sang the backup with the rest of the choir. It wasn't a super long song, maybe three or four minutes, but for me, it felt like an eternity. He sang it so beautiful, and it was all too much for me. His voice brought back all the beautiful memories from our relationship, which only brought me back to the horrible pain I felt the night he broke up with me.

I was so relieved when the song ended, even though that didn't mean I could finally break down sobbing, but at least that was the last time I ever had to listen to his beautiful voice, unless he tried out for solos in the future. It also helped to know that the concert was almost over. There were only a few more songs to sing, and then, I was free to let it all out. Until then, I tried desperately to hide my sorrow, and sing the rest of the songs as best I could.

After the concert ended, Hayley led me back to the choir room to retrieve our belongings. We then left the choir room, only to run into Lucy in the hallway.

"You did a great job, Sweetie," she said to me. "I could tell you were struggling, but you still nailed it."

Thanks," I said, trying desperately not to cry.

She hugged me. Then, headed for the lobby to talk to the other choir members and the audience members.

Hayley looked at me, and I immediately broke down sobbing. She pulled me into a big hug. "She's right. You did an amazing job, Sweetie. Despite what you were feeling, you didn't give up. You didn't quit. You kept going, and you sang so beautifully. I'm so proud of you, Sweetheart. So proud of you."

I didn't say anything. I just nuzzled up in her arms as I continued sobbing.

"Shhh, it's okay, Sweetheart." She stroked my hair, and kissed my forehead. "I'm here. It's gonna be okay."

Little did either of us know that Logan was standing a few feet away, listening to our conversation. His eyes filled with tears, and he ran off before either of us saw him. Honestly, I'm glad I didn't see him, because I was already feeling bad enough. I didn't need any more drama.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

Hayley stopped on the way home to pick up a pizza for the two of us. When we got home, we both changed out of our choir attire, and into something more comfortable. I changed into a soft, comfy sweater dress, and she changed into a fuzzy green onesie. Just like her pink one, it zipped up in the front, and had a long, curly tail in the back. We sat on the sofa together, watching sitcoms and chatting away.

"Well," Hayley said, "our next choir rehearsal isn't until the end of August."

"Oh, thank God," I said, relieved. "I mean, I love choir. I just––"

"I know. Seeing Logan makes it hard to enjoy it."

"Actually, hearing him does."

"Yeah, I understand, Sweetie, but maybe by then, you'll be able to handle it easier."

"I hope so. That, or hopefully, he won't have any solos."

Hayley chuckled. "But, if you're still having trouble, you can take a break if you need to."

"I…" I felt bad even thinking about dropping out. "I don't know."

"We joined choir, so we could have fun. If you're not having fun, because you're still struggling with your feelings for Logan, you should take a break, until you're sure you can handle it. You don't have to decide now. It's only May. But, I really hope things will turn around for you soon."

I sighed heavily. "You know, when I was getting ready earlier…" I suddenly felt very awkward saying what I was about to say out loud. "This is so silly, but… I was looking at one of the pictures of Sméagol, and… I was… imagining him telling me that everything would be okay."

"Awwwww, that's so sweet."

"I know I'm crazy, but… I wish… I don't know. I wish he was real."

"Aww, Sweetie." Hayley wrapped her arm around me. "You're not crazy at all. I understand. He brings you comfort, and he means something special to you."

"Can I ask a dumb question?"

"You can ask me anything."

"What do you think he would do if he was real, and he knew what was going on with me?"

"He would give you the biggest hug, and he would tell you that everything will be okay. I think he'd be there for you."

I wiped a few tears from my eyes.

"Oh! I'll be right back!" Hayley jumped up, and ran up the stairs with her tail bouncing behind her as she giggled like an innocent child. She came back down a minute later, carrying the Sméagol doll she bought a few weeks back. She placed the doll in my lap. "Here, Sweetie. I want you to have this."

"But… are you sure?" I asked hesitantly. "I mean, it's yours."

"Actually, I bought it for you."

"Me?"

"When I saw the look on your face when I showed him to you, I knew you'd get attached to him, so I knew I had to get it. I was saving it for when you became the big fan you are now." She smiled at me. "I know you so well, Cheyenne. I know what makes you happy, and I knew Sméagol would make you so happy, even before you saw the movies."

"Wow…" I didn't know what to say. I looked at the beautiful doll. It looked exactly like the real Sméagol, very high in detail, so beautifully made. I felt myself tearing up a little, and I smiled at Hayley. "Thank you so much, Hayley."

Hayley hugged me. "Awww, you're welcome, Sweetie."

"You're the best sister ever."

"Awwww, I feel the same way about you, too." She kissed my forehead.

I hugged the Sméagol doll, and oh, my gosh, it felt like I was getting an actual hug from Sméagol himself.

"Awww, you're so cute."

I chuckled. "By the way, when you ran up the stairs, I saw your tail jiggling and bouncing around."

Hayley giggled. "Yeah, I love when that happens. It's so funny. I wish I actually did have a long, fuzzy, bouncy, springy tail."

"Not me. My big butt's enough for me to deal with."

Hayley giggled.

"But, you would look really pretty with a tail."

"Awwwwwww, Sweetie." Hayley gave me a big hug. "I love you."

"I love you, too, Hayley. You're the best big sister in the world."

"Awwwww." Hayley giggled again, and kissed my cheek. "Well, you're the best baby sister in the world."

"Damn it, you're so sweet."

Hayley giggled even more, and gave me an even bigger hug.

When I went to bed that night, I thought of my amazing sister, and wondered how I got so lucky. Even though so many people judged me, turned on me, and treated me like dirt, Hayley never blinked. She never made me feel less about myself. She was always there for me, and she was the sweetest person I knew. She was so sugary sweet and lovey-mushy, and I was so lucky and blessed to be on the receiving end of that unbelievable, overwhelming, insane amount of sugary sweetness. She was a truly beautiful person, and I was blessed to be her younger sister.

I snuggled up with my Sméagol doll, and feeling his arms around me, it was almost as if he was actually holding me. "I wish you were real, Sméagol," I whispered as I closed my eyes, and drifted off to sleep in his arms.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

A few days later, I was in my room, playing on my computer, when my phone rang with Abby's ringtone. "Hey, Abby," I answered.

"Hey," Abby said.

"What's up?"

"LIsten… I don't know how to tell you this, but…"

Oh, shit, I thought. This can't be good.

She continued. "I was coming outta Walmart, and…" She hesitated. "And… I saw Logan with another girl."

My jaw dropped, and my heart fell to the floor. "W…" I was speechless. "I…"

"Maybe they're just friends, but… the way they looked together, I don't know."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know. It's hard to explain, but it's like this vibe they were giving off, their body language, like there was something going on between them. I don't know. I hope I'm wrong."

"Doesn't really matter anyway. I mean, we're not together anymore, so…"

"Yeah, but still… I know you still love him."

"Yeah, but… it's not like he'll ever want me back."

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm… I'm good."

"You sure? I could come over if you want."

"No, it's… it's fine." I wanted Abby to come over, but I knew she had other plans. I didn't want her to drop them for me.

"Okay, if you're sure," she said hesitantly.

"I'm sure."

"Okay, well… I'll talk to you later, and see how you're doing."

"Okay, talk to you then. Bye."

"Bye."

I put my phone down, and went to Logan's Facebook page to see if he had any pictures of him and this girl. So far, I didn't see any, and his relationship status still said 'Single." A big part of me was hoping she was just a friend, but I knew that, even if she was, that didn't mean anything. After all, we weren't even together anymore, and I honestly didn't believe we would ever get back together in the future. Though, I hoped for it. I exited out of Facebook, and tiptoed over to my bed. I crawled under the blankets, and snuggled up with my Sméagol doll. I looked at his beautiful face with tears in my eyes. Most people would look at him, and say he looked creepy or ugly, but I couldn't see that at all. I may be visually impaired, but I have seen creepy and ugly before. Sméagol was neither. He was beautiful in my eyes, inside and out. I had nothing bad to say about him.

"I really wish you were real," I wept. "I really need you right now."

I looked at his face again, and his expression seemed to change from eerie sorrow and self doubt to a warm, kind smile. Maybe it was just wishful thinking, but it was very comforting for me. Again, I usually cannot see facial expressions, but somehow, I could see his.

I hugged the doll again, still crying, and I felt something on my cheek, like a soft peck. I looked, and noticed Sméagol's lips right next to my face. Nah, I thought. There's no way a doll could've given me a small kiss on the cheek. Then, I felt something gently and very subtly stroking my hair. Sméagol's arms were around me, as they always are when I hug him. I always put them around me myself, but come on. There's no way a doll could've caressed the back of my head. I was just imagining things, right? Well, even if it was only my imagination or wishful thinking, it comforted me, made me feel loved. It was almost like Sméagol was trying to communicate with me through my very active and vivid imagination, to tell me that everything would be okay.

I hurried to the bathroom to do my, uh, business, and I changed into my sweater night dress. I came back into my room, and tiptoed over to my computer. I exited out of Google Chrome, not even bothering to see if I had any new messages from Logan. I opened iTunes, and turned on my Celtic Woman playlist. I crawled back into bed, and snuggled with Sméagol. I imagined he was singing along with the songs that played, like he was singing to me to console me. Again, I felt a small caress on the back of my head, fingers slowly and subtly running through my hair, and a small peck on the cheek. I looked at his face again to see if I was just crazy, and saw the same warm, kind, sweet smile with a loving, sympathetic expression in his big, beautiful blue eyes. I closed my eyes as tears streamed down my face, and I heard a very faint voice singing along with the music. I lay very still, and listened carefully. I could definitely hear it, but it was so faint that it was hard to tell if it was real or just my wild imagination again. It was a very sweet, gentle voice that made me feel so warm inside. I didn't try to pick at things anymore. I let myself enjoy them, even if they weren't real, as I fell asleep. It was around four in the afternoon, and I slept until dinnertime at seven.


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

The next day, after lunch, I logged into Facebook again to look at Logan's profile. Why haven't I unfriended him, you ask? I couldn't bring myself to. I was still too attached, and I couldn't let go. A little part of me wanted to let him go, but I was too in love with him to do so. We were together for over a year, and we were best friends before hand. We'd been through so much together, and the memories were still so powerful. They still haunted me, and even just the thought of cutting him out of my life devastated me.

I scrolled through his recent posts, and saw that he had posted pictures with another girl. She was so beautiful, and from what I could tell in the pictures, she seemed so sweet and kind. I had no ill feelings toward her. A lot of people would badmouth anyone their ex could possibly be getting into a relationship with, but I honestly didn't see the point. She wasn't doing anything wrong, and besides, she's a human being with feelings.

I looked through the pictures, and also came across a picture of a giant heart. The caption read, "Truly blessed to have such a beautiful friend like you, Katie Kingery, in my life." My heart was so torn. On the one hand, he referred to her as his friend, but on the other, he never made posts like this, unless he liked someone as more than just a friend.

Then, I checked my messages, and low and behold was a message from none other than Logan himself. I clicked on it, and holy shit, my heart jumped when I saw that it was a very long paragraph. My computer read it out to me, as it was way too long for me to read to myself. Way too much information to process.

"Cheyenne, I really have to tell you this, and I am being serious when I say that, don't get me wrong, and don't think that I hate you or anything like that. But, I truly have feelings for this other girl. I want to take things slow with her, get to know her better in life. I want to be your friend, and I want you to be happy. But, in my heart, I realize that I can't be with you, and I am not the one for you. I want you to try and understand that I am not doing this to be mean. I will always be your friend. I will always be here for you when you need me to be. I will always be a fan of you, but I need you to understand that I can't be with you. I have too many feelings for this other girl. I don't want you to think low of me for being this way. I want you to believe me as I believe you. and if you still wanna hang out with me, you can, But, I cannot be intimate with you. I am going to take things slow with this young lady. I want you to be happy, and I realize, deep down, I am just not the one for you. You're an incredible friend. Let me put this more simply to you. I am not riding you off. I am talking to this other girl. I want to see how it goes with her. If it goes good, then it all works out. If not, then I could consider you down the road. I wanna see how it goes with her. I am still open to you in the future."

And, with that, my heart shattered into a million pieces. But, why did I care so much? We weren't even together anymore, so why does it matter if he has a new girlfriend? Maybe it's the fact that he broke up with me, because he "wasn't ready for a relationship." Then, less than two months later, he suddenly gets into a new relationship with a girl he barely knows. How do I know he barely knows her? Because, I've known him for two years. I've met all his friends, and she wasn't one of them. So, if he wasn't ready for a relationship like he said, why was he with this new girl he barely knew? Maybe he just didn't want to be with me anymore. Maybe he never wanted to be with me in the first place. But, wait. If he didn't want to be with me anymore, why did he say he would consider being with me in the future? Oh, that's right. I'm his second option. No, that's not it. No… false hope. That's what it is. He's giving me false hope to try and soften the blow. Why do I think it's false hope? Well, if he really wanted to be with me at all, he would be… and he wouldn't have left me.

Well, he better not hurt this new girl like he hurt me. He better be good to her, and he better not break his major promises to her like he did with me. What promise am I talking about? He promised me he wouldn't leave me. He knew my history with relationships, both platonic and romantic. He knew I had abandonment and trust issues. Why did he make that promise, though, if he didn't intend to keep it?


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

I didn't even bother responding to Logan's message. It was pointless anyway, because I knew anything I said to him would go in one ear and out the other. I just left his message open. Didn't even bother to close out. I turned to my bed to cuddle with my Sméagol doll, but I noticed he was gone. I thought for a moment. I know I didn't take him off the bed. He was there when I went down for lunch. Was he there before I read the message? I don't even remember. I panicked as I began to look all over my room for him––in the closet, under the bed, even though I never put anything under the bed. I checked all my drawers, even though he wouldn't fit in any of them. I looked under and behind any furniture, and I even looked under all the blankets on my bed. There was no sign of him. I knew nobody broke into my room just to take him, because, well, first of all, everything else was exactly as I left it. Second, the window was just as I left it, closed and locked from the inside. Third, since I have poor eyesight, all my other senses are heightened. Not to brag, but I have been told I have ears like a dog. I would've heard if there were footsteps and someone breaking in upstairs. Lastly, who the fuck would break into someone's room to steal a Sméagol doll? A psychotic _Lord of the Rings_ fan? Okay, bad example, since I am a psychotic Sméagolholic fan, but I would never pull anything like that.

I stood very still for a moment. I could feel my heart breaking even more. Just when I needed Sméagol the most, he was gone, and I had no idea where he was. Maybe this was a sign, I thought. Maybe it was a sign that I'm too childish, too invested in a fictional character, and I need to grow the fuck up. I'm twenty-four years old, and losing my mind over a plush doll of a fictional character! What the hell is wrong with me?! No wonder Logan dumped me! No wonder so many people cut me out of their lives! No, that's just one reason. There's plenty more reasons. Let's see. I'm too sensitive. I get upset over the stupidest shit. I'm too clingy. I get too attached to people, and I don't leave them alone. I'm a major burden. I can't do certain things for myself, and I put too much on other people. Speaking of which, I dump all my problems on people. Whenever I have a problem, I always dump it on someone, bitch about it constantly, all that great stuff. The list of reasons goes on.

Without even thinking, I ran out of my room, down the stairs, and out the door. I ran to my favorite relaxation spot, the same field I had that picnic with Logan, and sat near the pond. Tears came pouring out of my eyes as I looked at the water. Something inside me was telling me that I should jump in. "Just jump in the water," said my inner bully. I named her Insidia. "Jump in, and don't try to swim. Just let yourself drown. Nobody will miss you. Trust me. The world will be so much better off without you. You're nothing but a burden, an inconvenience, an embarrassment, and a worthless pile of flaming shit. Kill yourself, you unbelievably horrible monster. Just fucking kill yourself."

Insidia wasn't an actual voice I heard in my head. She was all the negative thoughts living inside me, things people drilled into my head throughout the years, all the horrible things I was made to believe about myself. She took all of those things, and convinced me they were true. Every time something happened that triggered my negative feelings about myself, even something really small and stupid, she would drown me in an ocean of self hatred and shame. This was one of the deepest, most treacherous oceans, and I didn't know how to escape. I was lost in a hurricane of unbearable pain and sorrow, being tossed and blown about by furious winds and waves of shame, worthlessness, guilt, and self hatred. Looking at the water, I saw my only escape. But, did I really want to die? Was everything Insidia said true? Would the world be a better place without me? Would anybody miss me? I knew Logan wouldn't. He wouldn't even notice I was gone? But, would Hayley be better off without me? She wouldn't have to look after me anymore. No more listening to me whine incessantly about my dumb, trivial problems. No more having to shop for me, cook for me, clean for me, or work extra hard for me. She would be home free. Same for everyone else having to take on any of my load. Not to mention, I wouldn't be around to make people feel bad just because I got my feelings hurt over something stupid. No more making people feel guilty. No more smothering people. No more hurting people. They would be relieved… wouldn't they?

"I hate myself," I mumbled. "I hate myself! Damn it, I fucking hate myself!" I screamed as I slapped myself as hard as I could. "Why am I here, God?" I wept. "Why am I even here if I keep making everybody's lives miserable?" My weeping quickly escalated into heavy sobbing. As I continued to stare at the water, and wonder if I should just end it all, I was suddenly brought back to Earth when I heard movement a few feet away.


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

I looked up, and turned my gaze to the left. I spotted a nearby cave that I never noticed before. I heard something fumbling around inside. It scared me, but at the same time, I was so deep in sorrow that I almost didn't care if it was some wild animal coming to tear me apart, and eat me for lunch. Still, I kept my eye on the opening of the cave, until I saw something crawling out. Well, I thought, this is the end.

However, when I saw the creature crawling out of the cave, I thought my mind was playing tricks on me. It wasn't a wild animal at all, but a person. He looked so familiar. He was very thin with long, skinny arms, big hands with long, wiry fingers. His head was larger than a normal-sized head. His eyes were big and blue. He had a bit of reddish, brownish hair. Actually, to me, it looked more like strawberry blond, but whatever. His legs, like his arms, were long and skinny, and his feet, like his hands, were big with wiry, skinny toes. He was wearing a loin cloth and nothing else.

No, I thought. THere is no way in hell this is real. This is not Sméagol. This is just my mind playing tricks on me. Still in tears, I picked up a nearby branch, and whacked myself with it to see if I was dreaming or imagining things. I could still see the creature, so I pinched myself to make doubly sure this was real.

I guess it was real, because I could still see him. He appeared to be much taller than he was in the movies. I watched as he crawled toward the pond, looking for fish. Oh, God, he was so beautiful, even more beautiful up close. I wanted so badly to reach for him, take hold of his hand, talk to him, hug him, but I was too shy. Besides, would he even like me? After all the times I've been dumped and tossed aside, it was pretty clear to me how unlikeable and intolerable I am. But, what if he saw me? Would he talk to me? Would he even want to talk to me, or would he be repulsed by me?

Through all this, I was fighting back tears that I still hadn't finished crying, but I couldn't fight anymore. I let them fall, but tried to be as quiet as possible. Every bone in my body was hoping he would notice me, but I was so terrified that he wouldn't like me, either. At the same time, if he was going to see me, he would see the real me, someone who cannot hold in her emotions or hide them behind a fake smile or blank expression. He would see me at my most vulnerable. He would have no choice, because I couldn't hide my pain. If he did notice me, he would have no choice but to see me at my worst. Would he be able to handle it, or would it scare him off like it did to so many others?

As he scanned the water for fish, he turned his gaze over to me, and my heart jumped. This was the moment of truth. What would he say, think, and do?

He crawled over to me, and looked up at my soaking wet face. I saw his expression change from eager to sad. "Why does it cry, Precious?" he asked me in the sweetest, warmest tone.

Oh, God, his voice was so sweet and innocent, and I heard so much kindness in just that one phrase. I placed one hand on my lap, and he immediately extended his hand to me. He took hold of my hand, and held it in both of his. His hands were wiry, but in a pleasant way. His skin was so soft and warm. I looked at his face again, and became a human tsunami. All my pain eroded in a huge wave of tears and deep, heavy sobbing and wailing. He moved in closer, and threw his arms around me, pulling me into a tight, warm embrace.


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24**

"Shhhh, it's alright, Precious," he said softly. "Sméagol's here. Sméagol's here, Precious."

I tried to contain my sobbing, but I couldn't stop. "I'm sorry," I wailed. "I can't stop."

"It's alright, beautiful lady." Sméagol caressed the back of my head, and ran his fingers through my hair, just like my Sméagol doll did, but much more obvious. "Did you lose your Precious, too?"

"Something like that."

"Awww, tell Sméagol about it."

"It's a really long story."

"I will listen, Precious."

So, I told Sméagol everything––about Logan, our relationship, our breakup, and what just happened. Okay, I didn't literally tell him everything, but basically summed it up. It was still a lot of information, though, but whatever. I told him about past relationships, fake friends, bullies, all of it. I even told him about my disabilities, how they were the reason why people treated me the way they did, and seemed to hate my guts.

When I finished explaining, I looked at Sméagol. He had tears in his eyes, too. "I'm sorry," I said shamefully. "Did I upset you?"

Sméagol shook his head. "Sméagol sad for nice lady. I don't understands why people treats nice lady this way."

I nearly started crying again. "Thanks, Sméagol. By the way, I forgot to say, um, my name is Cheyenne. Ugh, crap, I'm really bad at talking to people."

"Cheyenne?"

"Yep."

"Such a beautiful name, it is. Such a beautiful lady Cheyenne is."

I smiled through my sadness. "Thanks, Sméagol. I think you're beautiful, too."

Sméagol's eyes lit up. "It thinks Sméagol is beautiful?"

"Yeah, I do, and by the way, I love your name, too. Sméagol is an awesome name."

"Awesome?" Sméagol inquired. "What's awesome, Precious?"

"That basically means really, really, really, really, really amazing or good."

"Ohh."

"And, I also think _you're_ awesome."

Sméagol smiled at me. "Sméagol thinks Cheyenne is awesome, too."

I blushed. "But, you just met me, and… you just saw a really screwed up side of me."

"It's alright. Cheyenne saw Sméagol's worst side, she did, but Cheyenne still thinks Sméagol is awesome."

"Yeah, but…" I stopped in my tracks. "Wait, how did you know that… I know your story?"

"Beautiful Galadriel tells me. Such a fair lady she is."

"Galadriel? She knows… about me?"

"Oh, yes, Precious. She sends Sméagol to you. She tells me you needsed me."

I was blown away at what I was hearing. Sméagol was sent to me by Lady Galadriel. Lady Galadriel knew who I was. Everything I thought was make believe… seemed to be real.

Sméagol continued. "My precious, you knows all about me, everything I did, everything I tried to do to poor hobbitses, but you still likes me?"

"Because, I know none of it was your fault. It was that stupid ring that made you do all those things. You had so little control over your actions. You're not a bad guy, Sméagol. You're good, really good. You always were good. Stupid buttface Sauron is the one at fault, that piece of shit."

Sméagol giggled.

"But, now, the ring is gone, and you're free. Am I right?"

"Yes, you are right," Sméagol said, slightly sad. "The Precious is gone."

I think I understood why Sméagol felt sad. "You miss it?"

"Yes, a little, but Sméagol knows it was for the best. It only broughts me pain and misery. It didn't stop the pain like Gollum thought it would."

"No, it only made things worse for you guys."

"Yes, much worse, Precious."

"But, yeah, I have seen you at your worst, and I still like you… a lot. I connected with you immediately. But, you barely know anything about me. I mean, besides all the sad, pathetic stuff I just spewed out to you."

Sméagol placed his hand on my shoulder, and ran his fingers down my arm. "It's not pathetic, my precious," he said sweetly. "Your pain matters to Sméagol. Maybe Sméagol doesn't know you very well, but he still thinks you're awesome. Sméagol wants to get to know you more."

I smiled at Sméagol. "I was right about you."

"What does it mean, Precious?"

"The real you, you're kind and sweet and friendly, not at all judgemental. I mean, you just met me, and already saw a full-on emotional breakdown. You didn't run, though. You didn't judge me, didn't look at me like I'm crazy or a big wimp. You didn't tell me I was getting upset over something stupid, never told me to get over it, move on already. Instead, you comforted me, and you told me that my pain matters to you. Despite everything the ring made you do and say, when I looked at you, I saw nothing but kindness and goodness, and I was right."

Sméagol gave me a warm, bright smile with tears in his eyes. "Can Sméagol be your friend, Precious?" he asked so sweetly.

I smiled back at him. "I would be honored."

Sméagol wrapped me in another tight and warm embrace, and planted a little kiss on my cheek. Again, it was similar to what the doll did, but much more obvious.


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25**

Meanwhile, Hayley had just come home from work, carrying her lunch in a plastic bag. She had stopped at Subway on the way home. "Hey, Cheyenne!" she called. "I'm home!"

No answer.

"Cheyenne?!"

Still no answer.

She put down her sub sandwich, and went upstairs to see if I was asleep. She peeped her head into my room. "Cheyenne? Sweetheart?" She didn't see me in my bed, but she saw that my laptop was open with Logan's message still up. She tiptoed over, and read the message to herself. "You son-of-a-bitch," she mumbled angrily as she clicked on his profile to see the pictures he posted with his new girlfriend. Then, she turned around, and saw that the Sméagol doll was also gone, and suddenly realized where I was. She sprinted out of the house. She found me in the field, next to the pond, sitting with what she thought was my Sméagol doll at first glance. Then, she looked again. He was sitting upright on his own, and appeared taller than the doll or than what he was in the movies. She was very confused and amazed at the same time. What was happening? She thought. Was this the real Sméagol? Was he really talking to my baby sister? She slowly approached us. "Hey, Cheyenne," she greeted cheerfully, relieved to see that I seemed to be okay.

I looked up at my sister. "Oh, hey, Hayley."

"I thought you might be here after that message from Logan."

"You saw it?"

"Oh, yeah, and I honestly wanna kick his ass right now."

"Sorry I didn't take my phone with me this time. I didn't––"

"It's okay, Sweetie."

"Who's this?" asked Sméagol.

"This is my big sister, Hayley," I replied.

Hayley sat down with us. "Hi, Sméagol. I'm Hayley. It's so nice to meet you." She extended her hand to Sméagol.

Sméagol reached out, took hold of Hayley's hand, and shook it gently. "Very nice to meet you, too, Precious."

"Wow, you are very polite."

Sméagol smiled warmly at Hayley. "Sméagol likes your sister, Cheyenne, very much. So precious she is."

"Awww, yeah, she's very precious to me." She hugged me. "I wuv her so much."

"Why does people hates her so much?"

"Because, they're stupid," Hayley said resentfully, "and they're so ignorant. They look at her, and see nothing but brokenness and everything 'wrong' about her. She's had to deal with this shit her whole life. People come into her life, make her think they actually care about her, and then, they turn on her, all because she's different."

"They betrays her?"

"Yeah, big time."

"Sméagol knows how that feels."

Hayley gave Sméagol a sympathetic smile. "I know you do. Your whole family turned on you when you found the ring."

"They did, yes," Sméagol said sadly.

"They didn't even try to help you."

"No."

"That's because they're cowards, Sméagol, and unfortunately, this world is full of them. That's what happened to Cheyenne. People ran away when things got tough."

"When I showed them the ugly side of Autism," I said, "they abandoned me."

"Not just that," said Hayley, "but people also bullied her… badly."

"Yes," said Sméagol. "Cheyenne tells Sméagol about nasty bullieses."

"Yeah, they were pretty nasty to her."

"Makes Sméagol very sad, it does."

"It makes me sad, too, and mad. She's a good person, one of the best people I know, and people only choose to see everything wrong with her, which, by the way, there's nothing wrong with her. She's just built differently. She sees things differently, thinks differently, communicates with people differently, does things differently, and she feels everything so deeply. They don't see that, though. They only see someone who's messed up and weird. They don't see her for the talented, caring, funny, intelligent, good person she is. Maybe I'm biased because I'm her sister, but it's the honest truth. That's why she connected with you. She can relate to your pain. Not to your extreme, but she knows what it feels like to be betrayed, abandoned, bullied, and even abused. She knows what it's like to be judged for something she has no control over. And, she didn't look at you, and see an evil, corrupted being. She looked at you, and saw a sweet, kind, innocent soul. She sees nothing but beauty when she looks at you." Hayley sighed heavily. "And, her stupid ex-boyfriend just tossed her aside like she was nothing but trash, like so many others."

Sméagol's eyes filled with tears as he gave me another big hug. "Poor Cheyenne," he sniffled.

"Awwww," Hayley cooed, "Sméagol, you're so sweet."

"Sméagol so sad for nice Cheyenne."

"Awww, me, too."


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26**

Then, Hayley changed the subject. "So… this is gonna sound like a really dumb question, but… um… how did you get here, Sméagol?"

"Galadriel sent him," I replied.

"Yes, Galadriel tells Sméagol Cheyenne needs him, so she sends him here."

Hayley was confused. "But… how did you… I mean… I thought you…" Then, she thought for a moment. "Wait a minute." She remembered the life-like doll. "That doll I gave Cheyenne… it was gone when I went upstairs."

"It was gone when I read Logan's message," I added. "I thought someone took it."

Sméagol shook his head. "Elveses made Sméagol doll. Sméagol spirit they captured in it… after Precious was destroyed."

"So… after you fell in the lava…" I said, "your spirit was still alive."

"And, some of the elves made the doll," added Hayley, "captured your spirit in it, and sent it to a store to be bought."

Sméagol nodded.

"But, why?" I asked.

"Galadriel tells Sméagol he deserves second chance," said Sméagol. "She said someone special will buy the doll, someone who needs Sméagol… and then, Sméagol be revived again."

"So, basically, they sent you to the store to wait for the right person to buy you," said Hayley, "and once you were in the right hands, they would bring the doll to life. Am I right?"

"Yes, right you are, Precious."

"That explains why the doll looked so real," I said, "and why it caressed and kissed me, and why it smiled at me. That was your spirit. You were slowly coming back to life. I guess the doll was a body the elves created for you, to contain your spirit, until it was time to, I guess, resurrect you."

Sméagol nodded. "Yes," he said. "Yes, Precious."

"And, you were trying to comfort me last night, weren't you?"

"I was, yes. Beautiful Cheyenne was so sad; it broke Sméagol's heart. I wanted to do more, but that was all I could do for you."

I smiled at him. "Well, it meant a lot to me, and it helped me a lot, too."

"Awww," said Hayley, "Sméagol, I'm so glad they sent you here, and that you're alive and well."

"Me, too, Precious," Sméagol agreed. "So happy to be alive."

"So… would you like to come with us… back to our house? I'll give you something to eat. I'm sure you must be hungry."

"Oh, yes, please!" Sméagol said very excitedly. "Very hungry Sméagol is, Precious. Must eat raw fish."

"Actually, I want you to try some other stuff. I know the ring made your body very sensitive to most foods, like bread and stuff, but the ring's gone now. Plus, it's not really healthy to eat raw meat. It'll make you sick. I mean, unless it's sushi. That, you can eat raw."

"So… if it cooks food for Sméagol, it won't hurts him?"

"I don't think it will, and I think you might actually like some of this food."

"It's not poison?"

"Nope. Aww, is that why your body couldn't tolerate any normal food? THe ring made you think it was poisonous?"

Sméagol nodded.

"Awww, you poor thing." Hayley put her hand on Sméagol's shoulder. "Well, I promise you, cooked food isn't poisonous."

Sméagol smiled eagerly. "Sméagol try cooked foods, Precious."

"Okay. Come on, Sweetie."

We all stood up, and Hayley and I noticed that Sméagol was taller than he was in the movies. He wasn't tall, but taller than both of us. I was only five feet, and Hayley was a couple inches taller. Sméagol was only two or three inches taller than Hayley.

I took hold of Hayley's arm, and Sméagol followed us both back to the house.


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter 27**

We walked through the door, and led Sméagol over to the kitchen table.

"Here, have a seat," Hayley said, pulling a chair out for Sméagol.

Sméagol sat down on the cushioned seat. "Oh, very comfy this is, Precious."

I nodded in agreement as I sat next to Sméagol.

Hayley rummaged through the pantry and the fridge, and picked out a bunch of different, random foods for Sméagol to try. She set them out on the table, and sat on the other side of him. She cut off a piece of cheddar cheese, and handed it to Sméagol. "This is cheddar cheese."

Sméagol took hold of the cheese, and nibbled off the edge of it.

"How is it?"

"Good. Sméagol likes it very much, Precious." He put the rest of the slice in his mouth, and slowly chewed it up.

Hayley then cut off a tiny slice of ham, and handed it to Sméagol. "This is ham. By the way, these foods are already cooked, but some of them have to be kept cold to keep them fresh."

Sméagol took a small bite of the ham. "Very tasty it is."

"Oh, good. Do you think you might like a ham and cheese sandwich?"

"Oh, yes, please!"

"Okay, I'll make you one." So, Hayley got out two slices of bread, and placed the ham and cheese on each slice. "I'm also going to put mustard and mayonnaise on the sandwich. It gives it more flavor, and makes it juicier."

"Oh, Sméagol likes juicy."

"Oh, Sméagol?" I said. "You might wanna wash your hands before you eat. They've been in the dirt, and I don't want you to get sick."

"Alright." Sméagol got up from his seat, and followed me over to the sink. "Hold out your hand." He did so as I squirted some soap into the palm of his hand. "Now, rub it all over your hands, and rub them together under the water, until the soap is all gone." I turned the water on, and made sure it wasn't too hot. "Here you go."

Sméagol rubbed the soap all over his hands. Then, he put them under the running water, and scrubbed and rubbed, until his hands were nice and clean. I grabbed a towel for him to dry his hands on, and then, we both sat back down at the table.

"How did that feel for you?"

"Very nice, Precious," he said. "Sméagol likes having clean hands."

"Yeah, it feels so good to be clean."

"It does, yes."

Just then, Hayley brought Sméagol's sandwich over to the table, and placed it in front of him. "There you go, Sméagol."

"Thank you, Precious. Oh, this looks delicious, it does."

"Would you like something with it, like maybe some chips?"

"Chips?"

"They're different from Middle Earth chips." Hayley opened a bag of potato chips, and handed a chip to Sméagol to try. "Here."

Sméagol popped the chip in his mouth. "So tasty this is," he said happily.

"Want some with your sandwich?"

"Yes, please."

Hayley poured some chips onto Sméagol's plate. "THere you go. Enjoy."

"Thank you, Precious."

"You're welcome." Then, Hayley grabbed her sub sandwich off the counter, took it out of the bag, and put it onto a plate. She poured some chips on her plate, and sat back down.

"What's that?" Sméagol asked, pointing to the sub.

"It's a sub sandwich. It's different from the sandwich you're having, but it's also really good. Hey, how's your lunch?"

Sméagol smiled at Hayley. "Very, very good. Sméagol loves ham sandwiches."

"Good. So, you liked the mustard and mayo I put on it?"

"Oh, yes, very much. So juicy sweet it is."

Hayley giggled. "You're so cute, Sméagol."

I smiled and nodded in agreement.

"What about poor Cheyenne?" asked Sméagol. "She's not eating anything."

"Oh, I already had my lunch," I said.

"Oh, what did it eat, Precious?"

"Ramen noodles. They're really good, too. I'll make you some sometime." Ramen noodles and popcorn are pretty much the only things I know how to cook.

"Alright."

After lunch, Sméagol helped Hayley clean up, and put the dishes away.

"Thank you, Sméagol," she said. "You're very helpful."

"Sméagol loves helping."

"Aww, you're so sweet."


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter 28**

When the dishwasher was on, and everything was put away, we led Sméagol up the stairs to the bathroom to show him how to take a shower. We showed him how to use shampoo, how to clean his body, since it had been so long since he had taken any kind of bath, and we showed him how the shower worked. We made sure the water was a good temperature for him. Then, when he knew what to do, we left the bathroom to give him some privacy.

While we waited, we both raided our closets, and laid out some clothes to show him. Obviously, since our clothes were for girls, we weren't going to dress him in them. Plus, they would probably not fit him properly. We just wanted to give him examples of some clothes and fabrics he might like. As we laid out the clothes on Hayley's bed, we heard Sméagol humming a happy tune in the shower. We smiled at each other.

"Wow," I said, "he has a beautiful singing voice."

"He sure does," said Hayley.

Sméagol's singing was different from the movies. In the movies, he didn't really try to sing an actual tune, or sing on key. This time, he was singing every note on key, and in his higher register. His singing voice was very soft and pure sounding with a very rapid yet smooth vibrato that was very similar to Hayley's. Hayley had a very fast but pure and smooth-sounding vibrato that made her unbelievably sweet voice sound even sweeter, and the fast vibrato had the same effect on Sméagol's already very sweet voice. Listening to him sing, my heart fluttered, and I almost wanted to cry.

When Sméagol finished up in the shower, he dried himself off. Then, he wrapped a towel around his waist as he opened the door. "Sméagol's all clean now!" he sang in a very high, soft voice.

Hayley and I laughed softly.

"You smell so good," Hayley said.

Sméagol smiled. "Thank you, Precious." He followed us into Hayley's room, and we showed him the different kinds of clothing.

"This is a sweater," I said.

"It's beautiful," said Sméagol.

"Feel."

Sméagol ran his fingers across the sweater. "Oooh, it's so soft. Sméagol loves sweaterses."

Hayley showed Sméagol some sweat pants. He also liked the material. Then, she opened her closet to see if there was anything else he might like. He peaked in, and reached out his hand, touching one of her onesies.

"What's this, Precious?" he asked.

"Oh, that's a onesie," she replied. "I like to wear these around the house, and I wear them every night when I go to sleep. They're so comfortable."

"Oh, can Sméagol see?"

"Of course." Hayley pulled out one of her onesies, and showed it to Sméagol. "See?"

"Oh, so pretty it is. What's this?" He pointed to the zipper.

"That's a zipper." Hayley showed him how the zipper worked.

Sméagol giggled in delight. "Oh, Sméagol loves the sound it makes."

Hayley giggled. "Me, too, and I love the way it feels against my skin. I liked to zip it up and down when I'm wearing it sometimes. It tickles so much, and it makes me giggle." She giggled again thinking about it. Then, she turned the onesie around, and showed Sméagol the back.

Sméagol squealed in delight! "It' has a tail!"

They both giggled.

"Well, I will definitely get you some onesies. You wanna put on my bath robe while I go buy you some clothes?"

"Yes, please. Towel feels too wet. Not comfy at all."

"Okay." Hayley went in her closet, and pulled out her green bath robe. She handed it to Sméagol. "It zips up in the front, by the way."

Sméagol smiled as he slipped his arms into the robe. Hayley showed him how to connect the zipper, and he zipped it all the way up, giggling with such delight.

"How does that feel?" asked Hayley.

"Very, very comfy, Precious. Sméagol loves the zipper."

Hayley smiled. "So, you want me to get you some onesies with tails, sweat pants, and sweaters?"

Sméagol nodded.

"You might wanna get him some short-sleeved shirts, too," I suggested.

"Oh, yes," Sméagol agreed. "Very warm it is outside."

"Do you want any clothes with zippers?" asked Hayley.

"Yes!" Sméagol squealed. "Everything! Sméagol wants zipperses on everything, please!"

Hayley giggled. "I'll see what I can find, Sweetie." She gave him a hug. "Okay, I'll be back in a couple hours. Take care of my baby sister, okay?"

Sméagol put his arm around me. "Oh, Sméagol take very good care of beautiful Cheyenne."

"Awww, I know you will. Okay, be back in a little while."


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter 29**

After Hayley left, I led Sméagol into my room, and he looked around at all the technology I had––my television, computer, phone, and more.

"What are these, Precious?" he asked.

"Oh, well, this is a television," I said, "or a TV for short."

"What's a TV?"

"Well, you can watch things on it."

"Like Galadriel's mirror?"

"Kind of. You can watch different shows and movies. They're like visual stories that you can watch on the screen. Or, you can watch the news, so you know what's going on in the world today. You can even watch concerts."

"Concertses?"

"Yeah, concerts are when musicians perform in front of big crowds. Some of them, they record them, so people who can't attend those concerts can still watch them."

"Music?!" Sméagol inquired eagerly.

"You like music?"

"Oh, I loves music, Precious! Nice hobbitses played music… a long time ago, Sméagol remembers. Beautiful music."

"Did you ever play?"

"No. Sméagol loved to sing, though."

"Yeah, I can tell. I heard you in the shower. You have a beautiful voice."

Sméagol smiled at me. "It thinks my voice is beautiful?"

"Heck yeah. I actually almost cried listening to you."

"Awwwwwww!" Sméagol squealed, giving me a hug. "Cheyenne so sweet!"

I blushed and smiled. "You're really sweet, too. I love your hugs."

"Awww, Sméagol loves hugses."

"Me, too, especially if you hug me with a soft, fluffy sweater."

Sméagol giggled. "Oh, yes, sweaters are very fluffy. Sméagol can see you loves sweaterses."

"Yeah, ever since I was a baby. See, one of my Autistic traits is called Sensory Processing Disorder, which means my brain interprets sensory input, like smells, sounds, textures, tastes, and other stuff, differently. There're some things I'm really sensitive to. That's negative sensory input, and if I'm exposed to it for too long, I might have a meltdown. Some stuff, I'm undersensitive to, and that's positive sensory input. So, sweaters and anything sweatery is positive sensory input for me. I love the soft, fuzzy, fluffy feel to them. When I was a little girl, every time I would see someone wearing a sweater, I would run up to them, touch their sweater, and go, 'Sweeeeeaaaaaterrrrr! May I hug your sweeeaaaterrr?'"

"Awwwwwwwwwwww!" Sméagol squealed, giggling uncontrollably. "So cute you are, Precious!"

I giggled. "To this day, I still love saying 'sweeeaaaterrr.' It's a way of stimming."

"What's stimming?"

"It's how Autistic people block out negative sensory input, get their sensory fix, or just express themselves. I love to rub and snuggle my sweaters and say 'sweeeaaaterrr' as a way of getting my sensory fix, or just to express when I'm happy." I grabbed one of the crochet blankets off my bed, and showed it to Sméagol. "This is one of my favorite blankets. My mom made it for me when I was a kid. I call it a sweater blanket, because it feels just like a sweater."

"Can Sméagol touch it?"

"You can hold it if you want." I handed the blanket to Sméagol, and watched him rub his hands against the soft fabric. I giggled when he rubbed it against his face, giggling like an innocent child.

"So soft and snuggly it is, Precious!" he squealed. "It tickles Sméagol's face, it does!"

I snickered. "I love being tickled."

Sméagol giggled. "Me, too. Does it like zipperses?"

"Well, I don't like to wear anything with zippers on it, because I don't like the way they feel on me. But…" I smiled at Sméagol, "I love the way you look in them. They suit you perfectly, and I love the way Hayley looks in them."

Sméagol smiled back. "Does it like the sound they makes when I plays with them?" He took hold of his zipper, and zipped it up and down.

I laughed. "Yeah, it's a funny sound."

He giggled, and zipped the robe back up again.

"However… I hate, hate, hate clothes with buttons. I don't like to look at them, touch them, wear them, any of that. Sensory hell no!"

Sméagol chuckled. "Sméagol doesn't like them, either, Precious."

"Pretty much everything I own is pullover, all sensory friendly for me. I like dresses and skirts instead of pants and shorts, because I hate things between my legs."

"Oh, Sméagol doesn't mind that."

"Then, you'll probably like the onesies Hayley finds for you."

Sméagol smiled. "Yes, Precious, I can't wait to try on onesies!"

"I can't wait to see you in one. You'll look really cute."

Sméagol giggled again.

"By the way, you have the cutest laugh ever."

Sméagol giggled even more, and smiled sweetly at me. "Very sweet Cheyenne is."

"So are you, Sméagol." Then, I changed the subject. "Hey, remember a minute ago, we were talking about music? Well, I also really love to sing."

"Cheyenne sings, too?"

"Yep. Come on."


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter 30**

I led Sméagol downstairs to the music room.

"What's this, Precious?"

"Oh, this is a piano. It's a musical instrument. Lemme show you." I sat at the piano with Sméagol sitting next to me, and played a few bars.

"It sounds beautiful."

"Thanks. My mom taught both me and Hayley how to play when we were kids." Then, I played and sang one of my favorite songs, "Walk Beside Me" by Celtic Woman. Yes, the song did bring up some memories of Logan, but I felt like, as long as Sméagol was there, I could handle it. However, I did get a little emotional.

When I finished, I turned to Sméagol to ask what he thought. He was wiping tears from his eyes, and crying softly.

"So beautiful, Precious," he wept. "So beautiful it was. Cheyenne sings even more beautifully than the elveses."

"Whoa, what?" I was truly flabbergasted at his remark. The elves in Middle Earth sing like angels, and he thought I sounded even better? What?!

"So much feeling, so much passion, so much… beauty in your voice, my precious."

"Wow, I… I'm speechless. Nobody's ever said that about my singing before."

"Nobody ever thought it was beautiful?"

"I mean, a lot of people have said they think I have a beautiful voice, but nobody has ever complimented it like you did. That… wow, that really meant a lot to me. Thank you, Sméagol."

"You're welcome, Precious. But… Sméagol saw so much sadness in your eyes when you were singing."

"Yeah, I guess I was."

"Why, Precious?"

"Well, it… kinda made me think of Logan. It wasn't our song, but it was a special song for both of us. When we were still just best friends, we were listening to this song, and… he took my hand, and promised he would always walk beside me." I sighed heavily. "So much for that promise, huh?"

Sméagol didn't say anything. He just put his arm around me, and pulled me into a big hug. He caressed the back of my head with his big, warm hands, and played with my hair.

Then, we went back upstairs, and I showed him how the television worked. I showed him my DVD player, explained what DVDs were as best I could, and I picked out a random DVD to play––Celtic Woman's _Destiny_ concert DVD.

"This is my all-time favorite music group ever," I said to Sméagol. "They're called Celtic Woman, and they're from a country called Ireland. Their music is really beautiful and amazing. Hayley was the one who got me into them when I was thirteen."

Sméagol and I curled up in front of the TV, and watched the DVD together. Sméagol was immediately hooked. The music was so gorgeous and new to him, nothing he'd ever heard before, yet it made him think of Middle Earth.

Towards the end of the concert, they performed "Walk Beside Me." It started with just Éabha McMahon singing, and Máiréad Nesbitt playing the violin. Then, the bagpipes began to play as Mairéad Carlin and Susan McFadden joined Éabha. They both took hold of her hand as the three of them sang the last chorus together.

As they were singing, Sméagol looked at me, and took my hand in both of his. "Sméagol always walk beside you, Precious. I promise."

I looked at Sméagol with tears in my eyes.

He could tell I was scared of getting hurt again. "I won't breaks my promise to you, my precious friend, as long as you promises to walk beside me, too."

"Sméagol, I know we just met today, but… I wanted to walk beside you the minute I saw you. I mean, before we met. I'm not gonna turn on you, but I will warn you that… I'm a lot to handle. I have a lot of baggage, a lot of issues, and that breakdown you saw earlier today isn't even the absolute worst of me. I'm super sensitive. I get my feelings hurt easily. Another Autistic trait I can't really control. I've lost a lot of friends and relationships, because people got sick of me getting so upset over something so dumb. I'm super emotional, a huge crybaby, and I've been told by many, many people that I'm a drama queen. Can you handle that?"

Sméagol held my hand tighter. "My precious, so much worse I have seen. So much worse I have said and done, yet you still wants me as your friend. Sméagol never leave you, ever. Whatever it is, Sméagol can handle it."

More tears poured out of my eyes as I leaned on Sméagol's shoulder, hoping he would hug me again.

Sméagol wrapped one arm around me, and reached his other hand over to me, taking hold of my hand. "You're Sméagol's best friend, Precious. Best friend forever." He kissed my cheek, and wrapped his other arm around me, pulling me into another big hug.


End file.
